In addition to the undiagnosed bipolar a couple years ago, Manda was also experiencing a plethora of pain: knee pain, back pain, shoulder pain, hip pain which would just not respond to plain ol' Advil or Tylenol. She was so tired some days that she just could not get up off the couch.
After taking her to the doctor (her regular pediatrician was on vaca and we saw one of his associates - emphasis on ass) he told us that she just needed to go to bed earlier and she wouldn't be so tired. Really? It's that easy? Sorry but Mother's Intuition isn't buying this simple excuse.
Manda went to school a month later and continued with sleep problems, pain and then an increase in anxiety and panic attacks. She started taking Paxil but it didn't do much for her so her pediatrician switched her to Zoloft. Although her anxiety was somewhat controlled, her physical pain continued unabated.
During this time, her friends kept asking what was wrong but being that they were normal, healthy 14 year old, couldn't really understand what she was going through. They were all well aware of her high and low temperament and could deal with it, but the new body pains put a different spin on Manda's moods.
Manda tried to go out with her friends but sometimes would show up back at the house only 45 minutes after she left due to severe fatigue and a need to be alone. One day about a month after school began she asked me if she could see a therapist and psychiatrist as she felt like she was "losing control". Because I've seen a therapist on and off for several years I had no problem with her getting a referral from her doctor. Her psychiatrist took a full medical history and proceeded to put her on Geodon which was akin to turning her brain into mush and her body into a slug. She switched the Geodon to Abilify which worked for a bit but near the end of the year, Manda had a dystonic reaction to it and needed to stop that med.
In the meantime, her physical pain increased and after several blood tests and other visits with specialists it was determined Manda had fibromyalgia, was severely anemic and had a Vitamin D deficiency. She began a regimen of iron and Vitamin D supplements as well as heavy duty painkillers such as Celebrex and Lyrica as well as cyclobenzeprine for sleep. Even though we were relieved to have a diagnosis for her pain, her mental health got worse.
This past January after a visit to her therapist whom she loves, Manda sat in our living room about to start her AP homework and just sobbed. Her tears tugged at my heart and I asked her what was wrong. "I don't understand the assignment!!", she cried. I cocked an eyebrow at her and said, stupidly, "What do you mean you don't understand the assignment?" From what I knew she only had to read two chapters and answer a few dozen questions. Pretty straighforward to me. "No, I can't read it!!! Nothing makes sense!! My brain isn't working right!".
I quickly ran into the room to hold her and at the same time wonder how my honor roll kid couldn't understand the words in front of her.
Little did I know this was the beginning of a fall into the abyss.
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