Pay-A-Friend. That's what I call my daughter's and my therapists. Think about it. Our friends can and will only listen to so much of what we're going through before tuning us out.
My pay-a-friend is not cheap and neither are covered by insurance. My daughter's has been handed $910 so far this year and mine has cashed in more than $350. I would much rather spend $70/hour on a couple dinners a month with my friends for the love and support I need. Yet my Pay-A-Friend is full of wisdom and has never let me down.
I wish I could say the same about the others.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Back to school?
Normally at this time of year, Manda would have had all her school supplies together, pretty cover sheets on her binders and two weeks worth of outfits organized and ready for September.
This year will be the hardest, not only because its her senior year but because she can no longer handle the load she used to. I've sent an email this week to her principal, guidance counselor and school psychologist asking to meet regarding an IEP (Individualized Education Plan).
Everyone was understanding when Manda became suicidal this winter and I had to take her out of school for two weeks for an outpatient group therapy program. She did improve, especially when her psychiatrist added Lithium to her daily intake of pills.
But a couple weeks ago she started to feel off again. I felt it and saw it in her eyes. And it scared me. This time when I took her to the ER, the doctors decide to admit Manda to their adolescent psychiatric unit based on her past history. She did well and was discharged last week but has absolutely no desire to start school. Her 3-book summer assignment for an AP class has not been looked at. I've already told her she can drop the class and stick with the basics this year. She gets upset because she has such high goals for herself (she wants to be a surgeon and already has her pre-med and med school colleges selected) but at the same time, she gets panicky thinking about the work because "my brain doesn't work like it used to."
I am so afraid she will not graduate but I will do everything in my power to see that she does. In her own time, not on society's pre-arranged calendar.
This year will be the hardest, not only because its her senior year but because she can no longer handle the load she used to. I've sent an email this week to her principal, guidance counselor and school psychologist asking to meet regarding an IEP (Individualized Education Plan).
Everyone was understanding when Manda became suicidal this winter and I had to take her out of school for two weeks for an outpatient group therapy program. She did improve, especially when her psychiatrist added Lithium to her daily intake of pills.
But a couple weeks ago she started to feel off again. I felt it and saw it in her eyes. And it scared me. This time when I took her to the ER, the doctors decide to admit Manda to their adolescent psychiatric unit based on her past history. She did well and was discharged last week but has absolutely no desire to start school. Her 3-book summer assignment for an AP class has not been looked at. I've already told her she can drop the class and stick with the basics this year. She gets upset because she has such high goals for herself (she wants to be a surgeon and already has her pre-med and med school colleges selected) but at the same time, she gets panicky thinking about the work because "my brain doesn't work like it used to."
I am so afraid she will not graduate but I will do everything in my power to see that she does. In her own time, not on society's pre-arranged calendar.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
More about Manda
In addition to the undiagnosed bipolar a couple years ago, Manda was also experiencing a plethora of pain: knee pain, back pain, shoulder pain, hip pain which would just not respond to plain ol' Advil or Tylenol. She was so tired some days that she just could not get up off the couch.
After taking her to the doctor (her regular pediatrician was on vaca and we saw one of his associates - emphasis on ass) he told us that she just needed to go to bed earlier and she wouldn't be so tired. Really? It's that easy? Sorry but Mother's Intuition isn't buying this simple excuse.
Manda went to school a month later and continued with sleep problems, pain and then an increase in anxiety and panic attacks. She started taking Paxil but it didn't do much for her so her pediatrician switched her to Zoloft. Although her anxiety was somewhat controlled, her physical pain continued unabated.
During this time, her friends kept asking what was wrong but being that they were normal, healthy 14 year old, couldn't really understand what she was going through. They were all well aware of her high and low temperament and could deal with it, but the new body pains put a different spin on Manda's moods.
Manda tried to go out with her friends but sometimes would show up back at the house only 45 minutes after she left due to severe fatigue and a need to be alone. One day about a month after school began she asked me if she could see a therapist and psychiatrist as she felt like she was "losing control". Because I've seen a therapist on and off for several years I had no problem with her getting a referral from her doctor. Her psychiatrist took a full medical history and proceeded to put her on Geodon which was akin to turning her brain into mush and her body into a slug. She switched the Geodon to Abilify which worked for a bit but near the end of the year, Manda had a dystonic reaction to it and needed to stop that med.
In the meantime, her physical pain increased and after several blood tests and other visits with specialists it was determined Manda had fibromyalgia, was severely anemic and had a Vitamin D deficiency. She began a regimen of iron and Vitamin D supplements as well as heavy duty painkillers such as Celebrex and Lyrica as well as cyclobenzeprine for sleep. Even though we were relieved to have a diagnosis for her pain, her mental health got worse.
This past January after a visit to her therapist whom she loves, Manda sat in our living room about to start her AP homework and just sobbed. Her tears tugged at my heart and I asked her what was wrong. "I don't understand the assignment!!", she cried. I cocked an eyebrow at her and said, stupidly, "What do you mean you don't understand the assignment?" From what I knew she only had to read two chapters and answer a few dozen questions. Pretty straighforward to me. "No, I can't read it!!! Nothing makes sense!! My brain isn't working right!".
I quickly ran into the room to hold her and at the same time wonder how my honor roll kid couldn't understand the words in front of her.
Little did I know this was the beginning of a fall into the abyss.
After taking her to the doctor (her regular pediatrician was on vaca and we saw one of his associates - emphasis on ass) he told us that she just needed to go to bed earlier and she wouldn't be so tired. Really? It's that easy? Sorry but Mother's Intuition isn't buying this simple excuse.
Manda went to school a month later and continued with sleep problems, pain and then an increase in anxiety and panic attacks. She started taking Paxil but it didn't do much for her so her pediatrician switched her to Zoloft. Although her anxiety was somewhat controlled, her physical pain continued unabated.
During this time, her friends kept asking what was wrong but being that they were normal, healthy 14 year old, couldn't really understand what she was going through. They were all well aware of her high and low temperament and could deal with it, but the new body pains put a different spin on Manda's moods.
Manda tried to go out with her friends but sometimes would show up back at the house only 45 minutes after she left due to severe fatigue and a need to be alone. One day about a month after school began she asked me if she could see a therapist and psychiatrist as she felt like she was "losing control". Because I've seen a therapist on and off for several years I had no problem with her getting a referral from her doctor. Her psychiatrist took a full medical history and proceeded to put her on Geodon which was akin to turning her brain into mush and her body into a slug. She switched the Geodon to Abilify which worked for a bit but near the end of the year, Manda had a dystonic reaction to it and needed to stop that med.
In the meantime, her physical pain increased and after several blood tests and other visits with specialists it was determined Manda had fibromyalgia, was severely anemic and had a Vitamin D deficiency. She began a regimen of iron and Vitamin D supplements as well as heavy duty painkillers such as Celebrex and Lyrica as well as cyclobenzeprine for sleep. Even though we were relieved to have a diagnosis for her pain, her mental health got worse.
This past January after a visit to her therapist whom she loves, Manda sat in our living room about to start her AP homework and just sobbed. Her tears tugged at my heart and I asked her what was wrong. "I don't understand the assignment!!", she cried. I cocked an eyebrow at her and said, stupidly, "What do you mean you don't understand the assignment?" From what I knew she only had to read two chapters and answer a few dozen questions. Pretty straighforward to me. "No, I can't read it!!! Nothing makes sense!! My brain isn't working right!".
I quickly ran into the room to hold her and at the same time wonder how my honor roll kid couldn't understand the words in front of her.
Little did I know this was the beginning of a fall into the abyss.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Bi-Polar Parenting Chaos
The past year has been more than chaotic so it's about time I turned my inner musings and daily rants into a blog as I know there must be others going through a similar situation parenting a bi-polar teen.
A little about me: I'm in my '40's, college educated, widowed several years ago and an Only Parent to an incredibly beautiful, verbose, goal oriented, creative yet mentally demonized soon-to-be 17 yr old daughter.
Manda is an only child, an honor student, well loved and respected by friends, family, teachers and, if one could go by it, the 700+ followers on her Facebook and Tumblr pages. Her quick wit was apparent before she celebrated her first birthday and there's not a day that goes by that I don't find myself chuckling at something fascinating or witty she's said.
She was fine until a couple years ago when she began to get short with me whenever I'd ask her something but I didn't think anyting of it as, heck, she's an Only Child-Hormone Filled 14 Yr old Girl so, yeah, she's not going to be a picnic to parent. Her moods would worsen on some days and she seemed to enjoy her room more than hanging out with her friends or me.
On some days her artistic side would rear up and she would ask if I could buy some canvas and paint supplies so she could paint. There was no talking to her during this time and she would stay in her room until her painting was done. This was a way she would expend extra energy but wasn't particularly interested in sharing her creation with anyone.
Manda also developed insomnia around the time her need to paint kicked into high gear. When I went to bed at 10 or 11pm she would stay awake until 3 or 4 a.m. and would have no problem getting up at 6 a.m. for school. Oddly enough, her schoolwork did not suffer. Personally if I don't get 7 hours of sleep a night everything suffers because of it. I took her to the pediatrician's office to see what we could do about it but he wasn't unduly worried; looking back and living through her nightmare of undiagnosed bi-polar disorder I can see she was manic at the time.
A little about me: I'm in my '40's, college educated, widowed several years ago and an Only Parent to an incredibly beautiful, verbose, goal oriented, creative yet mentally demonized soon-to-be 17 yr old daughter.
Manda is an only child, an honor student, well loved and respected by friends, family, teachers and, if one could go by it, the 700+ followers on her Facebook and Tumblr pages. Her quick wit was apparent before she celebrated her first birthday and there's not a day that goes by that I don't find myself chuckling at something fascinating or witty she's said.
She was fine until a couple years ago when she began to get short with me whenever I'd ask her something but I didn't think anyting of it as, heck, she's an Only Child-Hormone Filled 14 Yr old Girl so, yeah, she's not going to be a picnic to parent. Her moods would worsen on some days and she seemed to enjoy her room more than hanging out with her friends or me.
On some days her artistic side would rear up and she would ask if I could buy some canvas and paint supplies so she could paint. There was no talking to her during this time and she would stay in her room until her painting was done. This was a way she would expend extra energy but wasn't particularly interested in sharing her creation with anyone.
Manda also developed insomnia around the time her need to paint kicked into high gear. When I went to bed at 10 or 11pm she would stay awake until 3 or 4 a.m. and would have no problem getting up at 6 a.m. for school. Oddly enough, her schoolwork did not suffer. Personally if I don't get 7 hours of sleep a night everything suffers because of it. I took her to the pediatrician's office to see what we could do about it but he wasn't unduly worried; looking back and living through her nightmare of undiagnosed bi-polar disorder I can see she was manic at the time.
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